The Hate Brigade

I do stuff.

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The Indian Standard Time Needs A Time Check

Note: This post can be read by an average person in 13 minutes and 37 seconds, and it is probably riddled with typos and needs you to be fascinated by timezones, please don’t bother if you don’t like em’ timezone.

Background

The Indian Standard time, which is obviously observed in India and well, not so strangely enough in Sri Lanka, where they call it the Sri-Lanka Standard Time has an offset of UTC+05:30.

The IST does not follow Daylight Savings Time, which is also often abbreviated to DST, or any other seasonal adjustments, which is still debatable because most countries which fall or near the equator usually don’t follow DST as of now.

Although, as the western side of the world has seen that DST has caused over the years a heap load of annoyances, including iPhone alarm issues and numerous issues before digital was a thing, If you are still wondering what DST is, the most...

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It’s Lit

Note - Some links to news sources require you to turn your ad blockers off, I hate such websites but I cannot do anything about them. Also, I don’t work or represent any company or individual and the post is entirely based on the information I could gather and other stuff like my thoughts and views and I live in a democracy and if you even try or think about suing me you big ass corporate, I will not like it at all. I honestly do suggest that you read all the linked articles, they’re insanely informative and cool. Also, fix the typos I made, in your head, as you read the post, cus I really don’t have time for this.

In a vast country like ours, we always have something to talk about, be it an overrated sport which we borrowed from the people who ruled us until quite recently, or a smartphone at an unbelievably low price.

Sure, we have serious things to talk about too, like the...

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The Universe Doesn’t Revolve Around You And Six Other Fun Facts

I never got around to publishing this, even though it has typos, I speak nothing but honesty. Y'know that.

You’re Judging Them Wrong

I learnt something very important during college, when I majored in marketing, I learnt from Jim Young in Boiler Room (Which has absolutely no connection to the previous statement. I just wanted to tell you guys that I majored in marketing) “…And there is no such thing as a no sale call. A sale is made on every call you make. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you a reason he can’t. Either way a sale is made, the only question is who is gonna close? You or him?”

How do you know somebody is gonna buy what you’re selling? How do you judge if the cute girl at the bar is going to slap your face or give you her number? How do you judge what happens when you bang into a dude’s BMW? How do you know if you should date a girl or not? So many...

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Hipster Doofuses: #Stuff

Sorry for the typos. I have a real job, so like you know, stuff.

“I don’t understand why they think the pen is mightier than the sword, the guy with the sword can kill the guy with the pen, right?”

“…Can you not do this while I am ordering?”

“Fuck you, you triple jelly piece of shit”

“Hate”

“How is life going?”

-sips coffee-

“Work is slow, business environment is shitty”

“You’ve been saying that for two years now”

“Next time, I’ll lie to you”

“Start a startup”

“Why would I do that?”

“Don’t you support Congress?”

“What does this have anything to do with with my political preferences?”

“Bro do you even Nehru?”

“What?”

“Nehru was a visionary. He predicated the startup scene”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“Remember he said that thing?”

“…Oh my God, no.”

“PROFIT IS A DIRTY WORD, JEH”

-laughter-

“I wanna tell this joke to people but nobody will get it”

“IKR”

-sips...

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Alienating

I studied in SSC so I make like typos and grammatical errors, if you’re gonna point them out to me I am just going to send you a screenshot of random things everyday for the next 4 weeks. Thank you.

In this post, I talk about how to transform yourself into an anti-social human being who will end up being more focused and productive than other people. Isn’t that what life is truly about? Effective planning, productivity, focusing, economies of scale, RBI, GDP/Debit Ratio, do you see where I am going with this? If you do, give me a call, we should totally be friends and maybe you could explain to me why I typed any of those things (both above and below)

I think you come to a point in your life where you really don’t wanna make any more friends. I came to that point in my life as soon as I was born, although not very common, this point has been reached by many people I personally know...

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Social Suicide II

Watch this YouTube video before even bothering with the post.

I have never been much of a people’s person, I don’t like parties and I don’t like loud music which essentially meant that as a teenager I would practically never go out.

Yes, I am boring.

Yes, I am a little like George Constanza.

You may find my admission shocking but trust me, I have known this for a while now and I have been actively trying to figure out why my life turned out the way it did. That story is for another day, though because today we talk about women.

A little backdrop here, this is a story about my friend’s girlfriend (No it’s not going where you think it’s going.) Think of her as a generic Bandra girl from well…Bandra.

Yes, I mean that in every sense of the way. She hashtags her Instagram photos with #like #hot #selfie #besties #bestoo #happybday #tbt #throwback #velfie #hottie...

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Movies

Whenever I enter a multiplex to watch a movie, I keep telling myself that this is the last time I am going to do this. I sometimes even say that outloud so the people around me can get the hint and stop being excruciatingly annoying. That hardly works and I feel worse everytime they don’t get the hint. These people are generally the same folks who have that Samsung-Whistle tone set as their message tone. Those people are not fit to be among us, civilised beings.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of watching movies. I do like TV way more than I like movies and that’s mainly because the stories made for the big screen are usually dumbed down and character-elements are generally lost because they have to fit all of it: The entire plot from beginning to the end in a span of a few hours. Yes, I do realise that TV shows are a bigger/longer commitment than movies could ever be and I am...

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Mango People; Banana Budget

I don’t care if you saw economists on Times Now rate The Union Budget as 8/10.

  1. No change in the income tax on any of the tax-slabs but an increase in Service Tax + Education CESS and a tax burden of 2% on the super-rich (Yes they removed wealth tax, nobody cares because nobody bothered paying that. No, nothing is yet extremely clear about GST either, that happens next year.) Higher indirect taxes but no direct tax benefits and they ask why is there black money in this country? Policies and stupid decisions is the reason why. Oh also, good going on the fact that I don’t need to show my PAN card to purchase anything worth ₹ 1,00,000 and saying you want to curb black money at the same time. GOOD GOING.

  2. You’re going to spend more money on commercial vehicles, aerated drinks and if you consume tobacco in any way, shape or form plus obviously any kind of service ever. YES UBER GETS MORE...

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Diffusion #03: Don’t Be a Maybe

This post is for people who are interested in the real-estate industry and want to know what’s happening with the proposed development plan of the BMC for the city of Mumbai.

Video to watch before reading the post: BMC! You Screwed Me

Recent news of the BMC (The Civic-Body of Mumbai city) taking retardness to the next-level as far as development norms and regulations for construction go in the city of Mumbai, have literally been both surprising and extremely annoying to deal with.

FirstPost calls it: Good Morning Dear or Higher FSI will kill the already strained infra in Mumbai and won’t make property cheaper

Economic Times calls it with great detail for the first time: Higher FSI may not make Mumbai homes cheaper

The last couple of days for people like me who are “in the industry” have been rough because we have been bombarded by questions both by people who have absolutely no...

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Social Suicide: I

It took me fifty six minutes to reach Bandra today, add another fifteen to find parking. Sometimes I think the whole idea of driving anywhere is quite stupid in Mumbai because the roads were clearly not meant for cars, I don’t even know if they were meant for humans but that’s a story for another day.

You know how excited you are when you find parking in Bandra?

You are fucking joyous.

And baby, I was joyous. It was like averting a terrorist attack in my head.

It was my fucking moment, I had secured the best possible parking spot in Bandra.

Glory.

As I left the car pondering if I will ever want to take out my car from this beautiful spot, my thoughts were interrupted. I heard somebody calling out my name, assuming I was just hearing things, I decided to continue walking. Three seconds into my walk, I could hear somebody calling out my name again, as I looked around, I could...

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